


Are You Bored Yet?

by aroundu



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Bittersweet Ending, Crying, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pining, Post-Graduation, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:07:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25671811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aroundu/pseuds/aroundu
Summary: “I’m not going to leave you.” His voice is fragile and no louder than a breeze with no leaves to rattle, and he isn’t even sure Ritsu can hear the dull syllables.Sharp nails in need of a clipping dug into his arms like a punishment for his choice. “Seccan is a liar.”
Relationships: Sakuma Ritsu/Sena Izumi
Comments: 7
Kudos: 35





	Are You Bored Yet?

**Author's Note:**

> waa this is kinda a continuation of my other rtiz fic which can be read [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23483167)!

Dinner was tame; Izumi kept Ritsu away from the stove and the possibility of igniting the food, and the other boy actually was helpful, cutting up the vegetables and preparing the shrimp for the stir fry. Time passed by like a steady heart beat. Rhythmic. Constant. Comforting. It hung around Izumi and he let himself be taken in with how at peace he felt maneuvering the kitchen with Ritsu. 

To say dinner was tame wasn't quite the right word, but Izumi didn't dare use one such as domestic to describe how it went. There were no disasters and Izumi barely had the mind to throw insults at Ritsu as he saw him sipping away at his tea in an ebony cup, tea that he proclaimed was something he liked very much and thanked Izumi for as such. 

And dinner was normal enough that there was no need for words like nice, delightful, sweet. 

So, dinner was tame, in lieu of not being able to appreciate it as a domestic feeling that fluttered around inside Izumi's chest.

"Secchan, don't go to sleep yet." 

Ritsu stood outside the guest bedroom door, fingers tapping against the wooden frame. Izumi was pulling the covers off the bed about to climb in, back to the door, but at the intrusion he turned his head back and glanced over his shoulder 

"Ever hear of this thing called jetlag? I'm tired as shit, so I'm going to sleep." Izumi watched Ritsu's blank face turn into a frown, and Izumi sighed. "What? You want to share secrets or something and do each other's nails? How are you, of all people, telling me 'don't go to sleep'?"

Ritsu's fingers stopped rapping against the frame and went to play with the oversized sleeves of his shirt, an action that struck Izumi as strangely timid. "You've been gone a while, so I don't know, maybe you have some overseas gossip to spill."

"Gossip? You have to be joking. Since when do you care about stuff like that?" 

Ritsu shrugged and dropped his hands from his sleeves, offering no response. His eyes were trained on the ground and Izumi wished he would look up because something in his expression bound Izumi's throat and made the air feel heavy.

"Did something... Happen?" Izumi dared to ask. Neither him nor Ritsu were masters of emotional intelligence, but Izumi had to ask- the urge to help Ritsu was like second-nature at this point.

"No." 

"Are you sure because you're acting like-"

"Like what?" Ritsu's interruption is quiet and it makes Izumi realize his voice was rising. He takes a deep breath and drops the comforter to step away from the bed with a huffed sigh.

Ritsu still refuses to meet his eyes as Izumi closes the distance between them, and he can only let himself be partly thankful to be spared from the heaviness carried in those dark red irises. Izumi isn’t a good person, but he’s one hundred steps past hopeless romantic and cursed with an impossibly futile thrum in his heart that begs to see the windows to Ritsu’s paradoxical soul; they’re similar in their solitary lives, a beg for attention, yet in the same breath they don’t see themselves standing with those beside them.

“I’m not going to leave you.” His voice is fragile and no louder than a breeze with no leaves to rattle, and he isn’t even sure Ritsu can hear the dull syllables.

He wishes the words died in the stifling air between them, because he can’t stand how loud his heart is beating in his ears and how he’s suddenly aware of every breath he’s taking, and just how loud it is. The wish could’ve been a reality for a split moment, but it falls short of being a star when long, pale fingers are wrapping around his wrists. Izumi swallows this desperation to pull Ritsu close and refuse to let him go, knows how such a promise would chain them together until they would be placed in their graves, and instead settles to remain still.

Sharp nails in need of a clipping dug into his arms like a punishment for his choice. “Seccan is a liar.”

“I’m not lying,” Izumi spoke, his weak voice from before replaced with one harsher and similar to his normal speech. He hated how he was ruining this moment, but the words were tumbling out and already his tongue decided to be defensive. “Why would I lie? That’s so lame, I’m not a liar-”

Ritsu head rose, eyes glassy with stubborn tears refusing to fall. His eyebrows were drawn into a scowl, though a wet sniffle negated any thought of sole rage from him, and Izumi’s skin burned while his blood ran like ice. His body couldn’t decide between erupting into a scorching fire to try and warm Ritsu’s shaking body, or to slip into a numbness that would most certainly sink their relationship like the sinking of the Titanic.

Tree branches rattled in the wind outside, the only thing filling the deafening silence between them. A single tear spilled over and dropped to the dark hardwood floor, and it was with that teardrop that Izumi remembered to breathe again. 

“Ritsu.” He put his hand on top of Ritsu’s, a plea to stop his nails from digging in, though touching his skin was like touching a burning paper, crinkling with flames. He pushed through it, letting his fingers clasp around Ritsu’s to remove them from his arm, and then before he could think better of it, he pulled the crying boy into his chest. Silk pajama top be damned, he cared more about stopping the mess of tears and snot than the hygienics of his clothes. Putting his arms around Ritsu, holding him so tight he couldn’t be sure whether the panted breaths was because of choked sobs or Izumi’s constricting grip, but spindly arms returned the embrace, so surely this couldn’t be overstepping anything.

A strangled plea of Izumi’s name was the only word Izumi could make out from the muffled cries against his chest, and any other day his cheeks would grow warm at the usage of it. Now, it only sent a painful jolt through his chest, like a lightning strike on a mission to kill him. 

“I’m not going anywhere,” Izumi whispered, though uncertain whether the words reached Ritsu until the mess of black hair shifted and again Izumi was looking into Ritsu’s red rimmed eyes, irritated from crying.

His hand rises, and pale fingers are touching the side of Izumi’s face. He doesn’t dare pull away. “Why does it always feel like you’re gone then?”

“I…” Izumi swallowed, no words feeling right for this moment, and he settled for copying Ritsu’s action and cupping the side of his face, indulging himself by a light rub of his thumb over a cheekbone. He squashed down the gleeful chime in his heart when Ritsu eyebrows untensed, face softening and head leaning into the touch like a stray cat starved of affection. “Ritsu. I don’t know why- I’m not leaving, I’ll never leave you.”

“Do you promise?”

Ritsu’s eyes burned holes through Izumi, the softness still present but something more there. Like if he looked too long, then Izumi would be put under a spell, but he really didn’t care if it was Ritsu the one doing it.

“I promise.”

And even with the vow sealed between them, Izumi still couldn’t deny how badly his heart longed for more than “together forever,” yet how could he begin to ask for something like love? 

This standstill, the impasse of feelings, Izumi knows that all it would take is one of them speaking up to break it, but since when have either of them been good at that?

So, for now they’ll rest easy tonight with their oaths of staying together, though not a single, unsaturated phrase of  _ I love you _ would pass their lips. 

Restless feelings festered, true, and both were most certainly growing bored of this dallying dance of repressed emotions. In a world where soulmates don’t exist in obvious ways, it’s difficult to speak such vulnerable words. Why should one risk that, if it’s possible to be rejected? Especially when you’ve been left abandoned before, and a thick icey shell has frozen around your heart as a semblance of protection, yet it does more harm than good.

One day, it will be too much and there will be a flood like a dam breaking, and there will be no choice but to face these feckless feelings.

But it won’t be tonight, despite how Izumi’s entire body aches with barely contained love when Ritsu latches onto him as he sleeps. It won’t be, not because all Izumi can focus on is the subtle rise and fall of Ritsu’s chest, and the soft huff of breath against his neck from where Ritsu’s buried his head.

All that matters is the sync of their heartbeats, and unspoken and unheard ways of saying ‘I love you’.

**Author's Note:**

> rtiz they make me feel things (cries)  
> here's my [twitter](https://twitter.com/AOlHlNATA)!!  
> ALSO THE title is taken form ["Are You Bored Yet?"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nwgPLL_fwUg) by Wallows (ft. Clairo) and it's a big rtizcore song,,,,waa


End file.
